All of us experience loss. How we respond to loss can be as individual as fingerprints. For some people the loss of a loved one can lead to deep-set, long-lasting depression. Others in similar situations, celebrate the memories made and continue on. Most of us, however are somewhere between these extremes.
One of my first memories of this type of loss was when my much younger cousin lost her fight with Leukemia. She had not even reached school-age. At the time I questioned why GOD would take such a life. As I matured, in both age and spirituality, I came to accept that it is His will and not mine. I knew that she had endured two years of Chemo and Radiation with little hope of being cured. She once said “No more Ouchies”, referring to the treatments. Her parents and Doctors agreed that her treatments were not producing any measurable gains, they were, however decreasing her quality of life. The decision was made to discontinue treatments. In the little time she remained with us she was treated like royalty. She had us all wrapped around her little finger. Thirty years later I still think of her and wonder what she may have become.
Because of her brief presence here on Earth, I’m blessed with the memories of someone who never learned to hate, truthfully accepted each day was a blessing, and an infectious smile. Because of her, I have an inclination to treat females named “Amber” a little more affectionately than others. It may seem odd or unfair, but it is my unique way of dealing with loss.
I’ve been through many different losses since Amber’s passing. GOD’s grace has helped me find peace even in the darkest times. I’ve cried, prayed, rebelled, drank too much, went half crazy, but in due time I return to NORMAL.